eunoia.

I think I still have that capacity in me – to love even when it seems it’s impossible – in spite of my having experienced a lot of disappointments and hurt this year, I still am the little girl who believes in fairy dusts and rainbows. How could I not be? If it’s possible for one person to hurt another, then, there’s always the equal possibility that he can be healed by another. That’s just how life is. And I’m sticking by it.

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ellipsis.

If pain must come, may it come quickly. Because I have a life to live, and I need to live it in the best way possible. If he has to make a choice, may he make it now. Then I will either wait for him or forget him. Waiting is painful. Forgetting is painful. But not knowing which to do is the worst kind of suffering.

“By the River Piedra I Sat Down and Wept,” Paulo Coelho

illusory.

What you say and how you look does not define who you are, because some of the most beautiful people do the ugliest things. You owe it to the people who hate you, who disrespect you and who put you down. Because they are the ones who have made you who you are today; for keeping your head up and not breaking down when they want you to.

that’s how strong my love is | Alicia Keys

It was ironic, as i was writing the previous post, this song kept playing in my head. I guess this is what happens when one is comfortable now with the fact that it was what it was, and nothing can change that. Keeping the memories, which once in a while flash back, but still one keeps looking ahead.


That’s How Strong My Love Is

some people they call me crazy
for falling in love with you
they can take me and lock me away baby
’cause there’s nothing those bars can do

I’ll be the rising moon after setting sun
just to let you know you’ll always have someone
I’llbe the clearest day when the rain is done
so you’ll always know

through the shake of an earthquake
i will never fall
that’s how strong my love is
like a ship through the storm
we can risk it all
that’s how strong my love is

i used to feel kinda lonely
cause the world it can be so fake
all that matters i’m telling you
is you and me only
and the fortress from love we’d make

i’ll be the water you need in the desert land
just to let you know you’ll always have my hand
i’ll be the woman you need to be a better man
so you’ll always know

through the shake of an earthquake
i will never fall
that’s how strong my love is
like a ship through the storm
we can risk it all
that’s how strong my love is

oh, can’t nothing break us down
oh, ’cause we are heaven bound
like the mountain standing tall:
immovable; we’re here to stay
oh,can’t nothing get in the way

through the shake of an earthquake
i will never fall(i will never fall)
that’s how strong my love is(that’s how strong my love is)
like a ship through the storm
we can risk it all(we can risk it all)
that’s how strong my love is(that love is)

through the deepest waters
i won’t let you drown (I won’t let you drown Ohh!)
that’s how strong my love is (Oh that’s how strong my love, my love, my love)
cause we’re the moon in the sky
that will never come down (never come down)

that’s how strong my love is (Oh that’s how strong my love is)
that’s how strong my love is
that’s how strong my love is

dear beautiful sunset,

I hate everything we used to have. I hate being comfortable and settled with the pretending-not-to-be-jealous-see-who-gives-in-first tug-of-war. I hate recalling memories that manages to hurt more when I take them out of the box. I smile then I wince. How funny that they can trigger two emotions at the same time. They’re there. And I don’t have much use trying to deny otherwise. I hate the girls you once liked. I hate the women you once loved. I hate most the woman you now love. I hate every other girl you find pretty. I hate girls. I now hate boys. I loved you. Only you. And every other man that comes along is measured up by how much I have loved you. It scares me how much I have built a wall disallowing every other man to have as much as you had. Maybe I am longing for what once was. Or maybe I still love you. I hate you.

breathe.reboot.

Breathe. The world won’t stop at your beckoning – it twirls and turns until you become confused with the reorganization. Reboot. You’ve been kicked in the gut several times but life will still go on; you just have to move and deal with the outcome because try as you might to get even, chances are it will never remake what has been damaged. When things go awry – when things seem out of place – and you seem out of sync with your thoughts, breathe. Just breathe. We live in an eternal reality series that have no ending, only tweaked plots depending on how you want to play it, each of us reliving the same old cycle but in a different circumstance. Reboot. Everything is falling apart: your plans fail, your heart torn into a million pieces, and when the most practical solution is to just quit, breathe. Reboot. When everyone says that they want you to succeed but innately wishes you otherwise, breathe. People will judge you superficially. They can’t wait to cause hell. But just breathe.

In the end, you still go on. You’re still alive. Torn and defeated but nonetheless breathing. Show them that you’re breathing with a smirk on your face and let them have a piece of what they don’t expect. Just breathe.