You’re unsure of what the next step is. Do you carry on down the same path or find a new one? What do you really want?
No one knows what they really want. We listen to the voice inside our head that tells us what we want but often, it’s wrong. We shouldn’t be listening to the voice.
We should be listening to the silence.

say it.

..go on just say it. you need me like a really bad habit.

‘Cause it’s a guilty pleasure
Deciding whether you were ever mine or not
But the truth’s apparent
That you weren’t ever mine to start

What will it take to make you understand that I
I’m not lying when I say I need you to leave everything

Every night I kept you up
I never once heard you say stop
But right now I wish I had 
I wish I had the nerve to tell you that I’m a wreck
But what really did you expect?

.but i wished i did.

And you taught me what this feels like.
And then how it feels to lose it.
And you showed me who I wanted.
And then who I wasn’t.
And you ticked every box.
And then drew a line.
And you weren’t mine to begin with.
And then not to end with.
And you looked like everything I wanted.
And then became something I hated.
And you get thought of every day.
And then not in a good way.
And you let me leave.
And then wish I’d stayed.
And you almost killed me.
But I didn’t die.

2 am.

at this time. at this hour. at this minute.

there’s just this void that only belongs to you. i miss you. every single day.  even when i deprived you of  that chance.

i have known in my heart that i would regret doing what i did, and force you to go. if only i could turn back time,i would gladly trade anything for a single moment to be with you. a single touch. a glance. at least to hold you. because you are a part of me. because you were my one true wish.

at this time. at this hour. at this minute. this is when i most miss you. and i can’t help crying each time. and i always ask the same questions that i already know the answer to. and my heart breaks into minute pieces, knowing i can’t undo what i have already done.

the only thing that makes me hold on to your memory was the warmth you had. i should’ve held you. i should’ve wrapped you in my arms. i should’ve fought for you.

know that i love you. always. forever. even if i wasn’t able to when i should.