alchemy.

note to self:

By believing passionately in something that still does not exist, we create it. The nonexistent is whatever we have not sufficiently desired.

Franz Kafka

By believing passionately in something that still does not exist, we create it. The nonexistent is whatever we have not sufficiently desired.

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faith

I used to believe in love as this ultimate, saving thing, as something as strong as religion. But what happens when one loses faith?

One begins to realize that it is not love but rather one person. It may not be who you expect or even who you want it to be but they’ll save you. If but only from yourself, they’ll save you.

Risk is just part of relationships. Sometimes they work, sometimes they don’t.

— Lock and Key

longing…

Call it what you want-that burning feeling in the back of your mind whenever you think of him and all of your thoughts go awry and your heart speeds up, pushing your blood around your body like it’s in a big hurry to go absolutely nowhere-call it obsessive, call it pathetic, call it crazy if you want – the burning, the aching, the sheer longing to see him, the crooked smile, the stern jaw that locks when I laugh at the wrong moments, the wonderful mouth that kisses me goodnight, and sometimes good morning (as well as all of the blacked out parts in between goodnight and good morning), the beautiful artistic hands that draw me pictures and hold my hands when I cry and laugh and listen to what is wrong-call me all of the above, because I love him so much that my very essence of being screams his name24/7 in the deepest recesses of my mind as a not-so-subtle reminder of my absolute devotion and adoration and I now hold my breath just thinking of his wonderful spirit and his beautiful face and that is what I call love.

On the Side of Me

I’m not the easiest person to love
I’m often the one who lets things go unresolved

Yet you choose to be
on the side of me
on the side of me
Yet you choose to be on the side of me
on the side of me
I’m not too proud of some things

I’ve done in my life
The skeletons in my closet
Are too big for me to hide
Yet you choose to be
on the side of me
on the side of me

Blessed Charity
You’re on the side of me
on the side of me
Everyone needs a friend to hold
when it’s cold outside
and there’s no place to go
Everyone needs a friend to hold
all alone I cried
there was no place to go
I remember when nobody cared
but you

I’m not the easiest person to love
But you, you’ve opened your heart to show me what I’m worth
‘Cause you choose to be on the side of me
on the side of me
What a mystery
You’re on the side of me
on the side of me
Everyone needs a friend to hold
when it’s cold outside
and there’s no place to go
Everyone needs a friend to hold
all alone I cried
there was no place to go
I remember when nobody cared
Nobody cared
But you…
Yeah you choose to be
on the side of me
on the side of me