2 am.

at this time. at this hour. at this minute.

there’s just this void that only belongs to you. i miss you. every single day.  even when i deprived you of  that chance.

i have known in my heart that i would regret doing what i did, and force you to go. if only i could turn back time,i would gladly trade anything for a single moment to be with you. a single touch. a glance. at least to hold you. because you are a part of me. because you were my one true wish.

at this time. at this hour. at this minute. this is when i most miss you. and i can’t help crying each time. and i always ask the same questions that i already know the answer to. and my heart breaks into minute pieces, knowing i can’t undo what i have already done.

the only thing that makes me hold on to your memory was the warmth you had. i should’ve held you. i should’ve wrapped you in my arms. i should’ve fought for you.

know that i love you. always. forever. even if i wasn’t able to when i should.

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ex-aspirated

Let go. Hold on. It’s either one or the other. Choosing either one over the other. Where will I  be happier.

If  it’s any easier, I should be happy by now. Not this corpse trying to live by each day. Barely able to work through each day. Drained out of all the energy I once had.

It’s strange how a single person can affect you; how he can change your life. And you’re too willing to give him all that you have. But still it seems, it isn’t enough for him. I don’t know if there ever will be some enough for both of us.

He gave up. Surrendered. Walked away. Left. Giving me the answer that hurt too much.

And I said okay. Sulked a little. Cried to get by.

Then move on. Dealing with life. Taking everything. Repairing.

Then he pulls me back.  Just when you’re happy. Just when you’re on the verge of forgetting. And it gets harder.

He maybe worth the fight. But I know couldn’t fight forever.

I don’t know.

decide to love

Maybe true love is a decision. You know, a decision to take a chance with somebody. To give to somebody. Without worrying wether they’ll give anything back. Or if they’re gonna hurt you, or if they really are the one. Maybe love isn’t something that happens to you. Maybe it’s something you have to choose.

— Jacks, Love and Other Disasters

choosing

I chose this path. Not because of fear – of love – commitment. But because of the circumstances around me.

Time. Everything in our life is just about a matter of time. Waiting for the right time. We can’t rush into things and make a big leap forward just because of the emotions we’re feeling.

Being rational and knowing when to wait or do something.. I think that’s being responsible to oneself and the people around you. Because we don’t live alone in this world.

Being patient – to wait for the right time – is hard. But it could be the best decision ever made in your life.

it’s a choice we make

It’s hard to accept, but you can’t change the past. You can’t go back and manipulate things to the way you wanted them to happen. Because life would be meaningless and boring and just not worth living. But you can change the future and that’s a beautiful thing about life. Yes, you will make mistakes. And yes, you will have bad days – but as long as you let the past go, you’ll have such a gorgeous and bright future ahead of you. Knowing that things were meant to happen. Knowing that each day you will learn something so that you keep growing to be a better person. Life is like a rope, twined in all its complexities and yet weaved into one marvelous stream that you have the chance you use something amazing from. So grab hold of it.

Just to hold you, I ache for it, just to out my lips to the valley of your neck and slide down your body. I don’t like being apart from you, not hearing your voice, not having you close.

He’s the type of guy that could look you in your eyes when you’re knee deep in tissues and your face looks like its been badly beaten, and with all honesty tell you that you’re nothing less than beautiful.