be hurt, be healed

Healing doesn’t necessarily mean being able to forget. Nor does being forgotten the alternative of unloving. Love still stays. Healing is just finding the reasons to remember the happiness so that we can move on with our lives after our heartbreak. We can never heal if we forget all the emotions just as we can never love again if we don’t know the emotion.

If time plays a vital part for our love to outgrow the hurt, then let it be your friend, your ally. You should never force it to move forward with the bitterness you hold. Chances are you become stale and impotent to find the one thing you’ve prepared for most of your life. You should never allow time to become the dominant factor of your life, an ultimatum that imprisons you to other possibilities. Time moves because you allow it to move with you, to be your friend, to be the one thing that tells you that life waits for you, and challenges you to show the world what you are made of.

Allow yourself to be angry, to be sad. You can never pretend to be happy when you are in a situation where your heart silently endures an unspoken hurt. You just could never be happy. You aren’t made of stone after all. You are of flesh and blood, body and soul. You have a heart that never limits its capacity for love to grow or for hurt to be introduced. It is the one vital part of us that endures life in spite of its complexities. Thus, you are your life. You are embraced by life.

The heartbreak is done. You can never bring the past forward or ask for a chance to unbreak it. What lays ahead are new experiences that will replace the hurt, reintroduce love. Yes, the memories of the sorrow lingers but still when you look back, pick the broken pieces, you can never really put them back.

A rose has its thorns because it is afraid of the unknown, of the risks; because beauty is never without fear, without meaning to take risks, and it can never be satisfactory. You, on the other hand, took a risk, became consumed by the promises of beauty, rejoiced in the newness of freedom, got hurt, but was ultimately reborn to a life that is woven with a new pattern to make such a fine tapestry, unlike anything else that came beforehand.

making sense of the unknown

It’s in the unknown that you thrive to dream. Build something out of nothing.  Adding little pieces that will make up the story or a society. Structures slowly gaining foundation. Though it’ll seem like a pulchritude, nevertheless, you bask in your power to control.

But you are not meant to have everything at the snap of your fingers. Beauty will always challenge you to take risk.  Paltering you for that power to control.  Eager to strip you from everything. An uneven trade for something you wanted to make real.

Regardless of the circumstances, never lose that power. You give your body. Your soul. Your heart. It’s vital to not lose sight of that power. In spite of being in the battlefield, you need to load a lot of ammunition with you. You fight for that power. Hold that tightly.

After all, you are the prime mover. Builder. Architect of that unknown that has been revealed for the world to be jealous on.

trusting faith..

Faith does not require understanding. Most of us don’t know how the respiratory system works, yet, we still breathe in and out. Most of us have no idea what is going on underneath the hood of our cars, yet, we still drive to work every morning. Most of us don’t have the slightest clue how the internet works, yet, we still rely on it everyday to get work done. In everything we do, life requires a little bit of faith.

..incognito..

I started this entire thing for you and because of you.

I wanted you to understand how I felt, and I wanted to present it in a way that you’d understand. But then it became about so much more than you. It became about the people in my life, the people that left my life, how I felt, and most importantly, the one who spared some time to read this. I don’t know if I feel the same way about you, but I still feel the same way about love. For that, I’ll keep posting because this is about more than just you.

Thank you for the first entry, thank you for this 100th entry, and thank you for giving a girl something to care about.

With love, Girl.

wandering whys

there are certain things in life where we doubt our existence. I think it’s because we search for the answers that simply gets complicated the more we become obssessed with the finding out…

My friends often tell me that life is a journey; that I shouldn’t rush things; that each step I take I should savor and that I shouldn’t race… However, anxiety clouds this advice. There are things and situations that I’d rather would not dwell upon and that if I stayed too long, I would get more confused then in the end, create complications that hinder simple judgments… Then we wander around keeping track of the answers that has been unconsciously nurtured into doubts and fears…

so what have you that we don’t have?

authority_by_xxfangx

Here’s a concept that has been bugging me for a long time since I started working: authority.

I’ve been working in an industry where pressure is  shrugged off and dealt with great amicability. I was trained to exchange politeness with irate people, empathize with sincerity, and sell to satisfy and please. Honestly, I dreaded the job description since it meant that I had to deal with people in somewhat a personal level – as in, engage them in an interesting conversation.  But as they say, all things can be learned and I just had to deal with it if developing a personality comes as a bonus.

Good news is I grew both on a professional level and personal level. I became outspoken (although that is to a chosen few. It takes a while for me to warm up to people) and urged myself to learn IT skills. Even though, my computer skills were limited only to Microsoft Word and Powerpoint Applications, it expanded to photoshop, excel, publisher, and navigating the internet browser. The training was well above what I expected to learn.

The job would have been a fairytale but it has its share of flaws. While most people complain about salaries and payouts I sometimes wonder if an immediate authority has a right to exempt himself to the policies of the company.

Take for instance banned sites and Monday business attire. Too often these policies have been reminded to newbies and old agents and most often most immediate superiors themselves break the said policies. Hahaha. While most employees, those who don’t have so-called positions yet, adhere to these arrangements, it is these “immediates” that model a contrary behavior. Paradox. Hmmm.

I just had this interesting encounter with my “immediate,” 20 minutes ago actually. I casually commented on why he was wearing casual wear (polo-shirt and cargo pants with canvas shoes) on an agreed Monday business attire and he was quick to point out how he was doing more work than us. Okay, here’s how his words went (translated): “If you can do the work I do, then you can do all what you want as well.” I think this finely describes a superiority complex to me. Given that he has much harder work than we do, that doesn’t put him in a position where he can overlook company policies just because he has a higher position than us.

The reason why agents, like me, has often disregarded rules and often talk back is because we see reason to. We defy policies because we see them break it too. We don’t have an alert sense of break time out because we pass by them getting an “overbreak” time as well.

There should be an equality among employees when it comes down to conforming to what is governed in the company’s rules. I mean, most people here follow by examples naturally. They’re mind will eventually be set by what they see their superiors are doing even if they have been reminded all of the time.

Being higher than their agents doesn’t make them gods. So what do you have that we don’t have?  We’re working as hard as you do. Hell! Wake up man!

P.S. i’ve been meaning to write this piece, there have been many circumstances. and after this piece, i will be dead meat… hahahahaha… it will suck though!