circling

Sometimes it is in the friendship we nurture with other people that we learn how to value ourselves. It gives a much deeper meaning to the concept of love. It’s a good, honest assessment on how much we’ll turn out for the better rather than keep falling apart for someone. It makes you forget why you’re hurting too much. It’s a soothing balm when you’re at your most heartbreaking episode.

I am in love with my friends. And I take comfort in the fact that even if I’m at my foolest love-spelled state, they manage to still be there and catch me no matter how high I fell.

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i promise ill be better

a conversation last night:

I’m fine

no you’re not. Stop saying you’re fine. I know you’re lying. And you were never good at that.

really.

exactly. Liar.

I’m better.

All the more reason I don’t want to believe you.

Promise.

Look I’m not asking you to let me stay. Because I’m staying whether you like it or not. Stop pushing me away. I am staying. I’m not going anywhere.

I’m not.

You’re not you anymore. I hate you.

People change, I guess.

Defensive.

It’s true.

Stubborn idiot.

Look who’s talking.

Did i mention i hate him.

yep. i stopped counting after 10. haha .i’m okay. stop worrying.

I need you back. You’re lousy at lying. You’re lousy at pretending. You wear your heart on your sleeve. You smile like nothing’s happening to you but your eyes give away that sadness. I hate looking at you like that. I hate hearing you. Stop being broken.

I am responsible for my own loneliness.

What happened to the girl I knew before? You’re made of stronger stuff.

Ouch.

just be okay. i need you back. even if it means having to grab you by hair and yanking you out of that damn hole.

Ouch. Two times. I promise I’ll be better.

shut up.

I promise I’ll be better.

I miss you.

I miss you too

Why does it feel like he took you away from me and I can’t get you back?

It’s nothing. It’s just a temporary glitch. It’ll pass. Promise.

:’c

one love

We spend a lot of time trying to find a love that will last us all our lives. Something to keep us waking up happy every morning, smiling all day, and warm every night.

What we don’t realize, is that some of us have that already without knowing.

Love, Friends, Sisters, Brothers, and Forever are just three ways to describe the same thing.

MONA LISA SMILE

It’s quite revealing to regard that a smile is not supposed to be taken as it is: a sign of happiness, of contentment in life… In most realities, a smile is a facade – defense mechanism in order to shun inquiries of unhappiness or discontentment in life. It is a fictional adaptation of what they really want to feel; a diversion from the gradual destruction of self-esteem and of belief.

I’ve been lucky enough to have friends that have been able to help me rise above the pretentious nature of a smile. they know how to gauge my feelings; they have seen me through my worst. they have been able to nurse the feeling of unworthiness not by providing me with the shit of caressing my ego but by simply being able to silently be there and wait for me to take comfort in them, they just sit by me. With these things, I am very thankful that they have been able to bring the real smile out of me…

Maybe, to some, a smile is a barometer of happiness. to me, it’s a way of not explaining how I am right now even when i badly need a shoulder to cry on. It’s a way of letting bad feelings go, of bad energies not to sink into me and my whole outlook on life. I don’t need to hold a grudge forever…