“Here. This is for you, just because”
Completely flustered and flushed in a pink tone of joy, due to the genuine act of kindness and love, you manage to mutter a short “awe, you shouldn’t have” through your trembling lips. These flowers now carry a whole new level of significance simply for the fact that it was from your lover. And so you nourish this token of love with the utmost fragility. You never forget to fill the vase with water and it has now become a beautiful center piece that ties your entire bedroom together like the final bow on any gift, completing the masterpiece.
Yet you find yourself spending most of your efforts struggling to keep these flowers alive because you couldn’t bare the thought of letting this token of love perish. What would it mean? That you failed what appears to be the easiest thing to handle? The idea pains you and you continue to fumble through the seconds that pass because you start to realize that it is inevitable. Everything dies.
Then you become the sole witness to such a beautiful death.
And this is the sad truth to all that lives.
I cant figure out whats worse, having to know every single detail of your desperate love for some other woman, or having to know that you obviously didn’t even come close to feeling the same way about me.
— Kate Hudson, Alex & Emma
….It’s not up to me anymore. If you want me in your life, you’ll find a way to put me there.
I think part of the reason why we hold on to something so tight, for so long, is because we fear something so great will never happen again.
I left you because you couldn’t give me what I wanted.. and funnily enough, it turns out you are also the only one who could…
and for once in your life, you need to walk away and suffer the loneliness.. because you believe that one day in the far and distant future, you’ll be happy. and not so cracked and broken anymore. and you won’t cry anymore. and when you smile, it won’t be a façade- it will be real. and that empty heart-shaped black hole in your chest will slowly fade back to a healthy pink color. and you’ll know that all the pain, all the sadness, everything you feel when you’re crying yourself to sleep.. it’s gone. and you’re stronger for it.
but until then, it’s going to hurt.. and you’re going to cry. and it’s going to continue to be the worst times of your life. and you’re going to wonder how long it’s going to take. and you will fake that smile until your face hurts. and you will drink until you forget. and then you will remember in the morning. and every day, it will hit you like a ton of bricks. and every night, you will wonder where he is, and what he is doing, and if he’s thinking about you too. and you will cry, you will cry, you will cry until you think you’re out of tears. but they will continue to fall…
Girl on the Moon
Disappointment from a person you love is easily one of the worst things to go through. It’s forgivable when you care, and you can move on. When it repeatedly happens, a breaking point is reachable. It hits you, and there is no going back from it. No amount of apology brings it back to being okay.
Sometimes you’re not mad at the person at all.
Sometimes, you’re just done.
the flowers began to fall
From the grasp of the sun
In spite of its plea for chances
That they have doubted to come.
Their stems slowly unattach
In spite of the love that has grown
Now surrendered to the promises
That has long said adieu.
Their senescence willed them to wither
Amidst the thriving awakened sun
With an unconcious permission
To kiss them by its toxic rays
That always possessed to stay
However it could be done
Unmindful of the flaws that tag along
Resulting to the suffocation of a spirit.
With the death of the flowers’ beauty
Came the regret of the sun’s bounty
Damned to watch growth and death by its rays
It only yearned to caress the earth’s warmth
And by its kiss,
came the overwhelming realization
That it has the power to create a life
With the inevitable curse of witnessing death
By which it is also its doing.
At some point, we weren’t just together. We became something that everyone knew about, and was happy to see happening. We were so known for being in our relationship, that it made it hard for us to be in love and go through tough times without the world watching every moment.
I miss the days when the only people that knew we were in love were us.
I expect too much. from you, from me, from the world. I expect too much, but too much by their standards not mine. What I expect, what I need, what I know can and will happen, is not too much, but just enough.
We are so much more. So much more than everyone says that we are and can be. What they tell me is beauty and joy isn’t enough for me.
I must and will have more. And I will because the little gap in my heart that causes me so much pain, the skip in the record that needs to be filled, gives me room to find the extraordinary. And I will. My heart will feel more than you ever thought a heart can feel and my mind will see things that no one even knew existed: the little gossamer threads that tie life together, and which, if you don’t look carefully enough, you will miss as you see things moving in space and not the ties that bind them.
just watch me.