life isn’t sunshine and rainbows

Let me tell you something you already know. The world ain’t all sunshine and rainbows. It is a very mean and nasty place, and I don’t care how tough you are, it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me or nobody is going to hit as hard as life. But it ain’t about how hard you hit, it is about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward, how much you can take and keep moving forward. That’s how winning is done! Now, if you know what you’re worth, then go out and get what you’re worth. But you gotta be willing to take the hit, and not pointing fingers saying you ain’t where you are because of him, or her, or anybody. Cowards do that and that ain’t you. You’re better than that! I’m always gonna love you, no matter what. No matter what happens. You’re my son, you’re my blood. You’re the best thing in my life. But until you start believing in yourself, you ain’t gonna have a life.

Rocky Balboa

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WAYS FOR PERSONAL GROWTH

  • I assume full responsibility for my actions, except the ones that are someone else’s fault.
  • In some cultures what I do would be considered normal.
  • I honor my personality flaws for without them I would have no personality at all.
  • Joan of Arc heard voices, too.
  • I am grateful that I am not as judgmental as all those censorious, self-righteous assholes around me.
  • The first step is to say nice things about myself. The second, to do nice things for myself. The third, to find someone to buy me nice things.
  • As I learn to trust the universe, I no longer need to carry a gun.
  • All of me is beautiful, even the ugly, stupid and disgusting parts.
  • I am at one with my duality.
  • Today I will gladly share my experience and advice, for there are no sweeter words than these: “I told you so!”
  • False hope is better than no hope at all.
  • A good scapegoat is almost as good as a solution.
  • The complete lack of evidence is the surest sign that the conspiracy is working.
  • I am learning that criticism is not nearly as effective as sabotage.
  • Becoming aware of my character defects leads me naturally to the next step of blaming my parents.
  • To have a successful relationship I must learn to make it look like I’m giving as much as I’m getting.
  • Before I criticize a man, I walk a mile in his shoes. That way, if he gets angry, he’s a mile away and barefoot.
  • Don’t be irreplaceable; if you can’t be replaced, you can’t be promoted.

For more highly non-stressable stuff, just check out Patti’s Homepage

USEFUL EXPRESSIONS FOR HIGH STRESS DAYS

I spent my idle hours at work scouring the web for some sales tips and oh well, something to relieve me from stress. Here’s a gem to get you buy. Enjoy!

  • You – Off my planet
  • Not the brightest crayon in the box now, are we?
  • Well, this day was a total waste of makeup.
  • I did not say it was your fault. I said I was going to blame you.
  • Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
  • And your crybaby whiny-assed opinion would be…?
  • I’m not crazy, I’ve just been in a very bad mood for 30 years.
  • Allow me to introduce my selves.
  • Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.
  • Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.
  • I’m just working here until a good fast-food job opens up.
  • I’m trying to imagine you with a personality.
  • Stress is when you wake up screaming and you realize you weren’t asleep
  • I can’t remember if I’m the good twin or the evil one.
  • How many times do I have to flush before you go away?
  • I just want revenge. Is that so wrong?
  • You say I’m a bitch like it’s a bad thing.
  • Can I trade this job for what’s behind door #2?
  • Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?
  • Chaos, panic, and disorder-my work here is done.
  • Earth is full. Go home.
  • Is it time for your medication or mine?
  • How do I set a laser printer to stun?
  • I’m not tense, just terribly, terribly alert.
  • Well, aren’t we just a ray of fucking sunshine?
  • Do I look like a fucking people-person?
  • If I want to hear the pitter-patter of little feet, I’ll put shoes on my cat. .
  • Did the aliens forget to remove your anal probe?
  • Let me show you how the guards used to do it.
  • Do they ever shut up on your planet?
  • You say I’m a bitch like it’s a bad thing.
  • You look like shit. Is that the style now?
  • Oh, did I step on your poor little-bitty ego?
  • If I spread you with Preparation H would you shrink down and become less irritating?

Thanks to Patti’s Homepage