crossing fingers

I wish I can foresee the future.

Sometimes, I can’t understand the concept of time. I just know that it’s there, it’s here, and it will forever be here. And in our lifetime, I have always been reminded to value it (but I tend to disregard it). Maybe it comes with my constant anxiety, my interminable need to know conclusions and resolutions; to get to the destination as fast as things are articulated.

But most of the time, I am at peace with the recognition that we can’t control time, but what we make of it is our call. Thing is, we can’t fast-forward time to know if our decision’s worth it. So we trust our hearts and hope it turns out right.

But it doesn’t hurt if I become clairvoyant even for just today.

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i’m going to…

There has been not much that I did the last year. I was floating on emotions I should’ve put more into other things. I dwelled, sulked, and celebrated much of the loneliness without really ever meaning to overcome it.

This year, I’ll be more active in some of the things I have neglected in the past. Although I’m drained out of the emotions, I’m much more aware of myself now than I ever did before. I have more time to explore more of the selfishness I deserve.

choosing

I chose this path. Not because of fear – of love – commitment. But because of the circumstances around me.

Time. Everything in our life is just about a matter of time. Waiting for the right time. We can’t rush into things and make a big leap forward just because of the emotions we’re feeling.

Being rational and knowing when to wait or do something.. I think that’s being responsible to oneself and the people around you. Because we don’t live alone in this world.

Being patient – to wait for the right time – is hard. But it could be the best decision ever made in your life.

..time..

I’m not living anymore, this is merely survival. sleep is my dearest friend, time is my rival. In dreams I am let free to be whoever I’d like. But time passes unconvinced, a steady strike. In the dark night, time is suspended, but even the night will eventually be ended. Then I  do what i have to, to survive until the sun dies. then I can be happily lost, and do whatever time denies. someday, I will sleep forever, and only time can bring that about. Time, my enemy. Time, my final rest.